You’re wanking in your own private Idaho — Dear Dr. Guerrez, I’m sorry that it’s been so long since our last correspondence. I had promised to write at least once per month. I understand that you are only licensed to practice in the State of Maryland. Please understand how much I appreciate your continued support. Thank you again…

Wanking off the beaten path — Dear Doctor Gutiérrez, As you may have surmised by now, I am no longer under the care of the Sheppard Pratt Hospital System. …

Celebrating the New Discovery With a Capybara Named Herbert — As Hewlett Patterson Linkwater’s official biographer, lawyer, and sex-therapist, I was delighted that the editorial staff at Sweary Mommy approached me about writing an article about Hewlett and his nephews, who he referred to affectionately as Disgusting Little Fish Boy #1 and Disgusting Little Fish Boy #2. As detailed in…

Moments of introspection from Paris and beyond — The only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person, is by creative work of her own. — Betty Friedan I wanted to take a moment to humbly introduce myself to my fellow Medium writers. Some of you may only know…

Vacuum Restoration Specialist, Detective, Provocateur Dear Officer Esquivel, I appreciate the leniency you and the parole board have shown in allowing me to travel internationally to present my lecture to the Third Annual Conference of Mayakovsky Scholars and Ibogaine Enthusiasts. Buenos Aires is lovely this time of year. You might…

Reasons why attendance has helped me I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about three years ago. It’s been a journey, and I’m still figuring things out. I wanted to take a moment to talk through why attending support groups has helped me. Some of the benefits of attending these groups…

Wanking off the beaten path — Asheville, North Carolina is a vibrant city known for its stunning natural beauty and rich cultural heritage. With a wide range of activities and attractions to choose from, it can be difficult to decide where to pleasure yourself. Here are some of the top places to masturbate in Asheville. The Biltmore Estate The…

Putting put the pieces of our lives back together — Dear Susan Brearley, It’s difficult for me to overstate my disappointment in the events that transpired during the MuddyUm winter retreat. This whole ordeal has caused me a great degree of financial and emotional distress. I was kind enough to offer my newly-listed cabin to the group at a discounted…

That Mitchell and Webb Greatness — Thunderdome is a Fanfare series where our writers good-naturedly debate some matter of pop culture and then leave it to the readers to decide. Read each post and vote at the bottom! “People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can’t trust people Jez” — Super Hans I happened…